I’ve seen enough.
I have a very active imagination. I can picture the world in my mind,
Everything is the same. People come and go. But the same faces, the same archetypes, and the same cycles occur over and over and over again. I’m tired of the identical conversations, talking to people who don’t care, and playing the same roles.
I’ve done it all. I’ve seen enough highs and lows to imagine the rest. What more is there to see? What more is there to do? There’s no novelty left, no unheard stories, no new experiences. I’ve experienced some of the most intense highs and lows a person can experience, and I am still left wanting.
Most people are the same. They have the same problems, talk about the same things. They don’t know themselves, don’t ask hard questions, and don’t seek to understand. As such, they just pick a mask and play the part. And I’ve seen all the masks. The same lines, the same stories, the same emotions.
Yes, I am not above this. I am exactly the same. I ask some questions, but not the hard ones. It’s like wearing sunglasses. At first, putting them on might feel a bit awkward, then your eyes feel comfortable. But when you finally take them off, normal light feels blindingly bright and uncomfortable. If I left my mask on, I would remain comfortable. I would hide in blissful ignorance, recognizing none of this. But the moment I took it off, took a single breath of fresh, unfiltered air, the light blinded me. Now, the mask feels dark and suffocating, and I cannot go back.
Worse, I understand it all. I know what to say, I see “the script” and can follow it well enough. The outcome of any action is just predictable, so why take it? I see enough of the future to know that it will be the same. So I don’t. I don’t take the action, I don’t play the part, and I don’t follow the script. I am tired of it all.